I Always Wanted Double Ovens

If you are like me, then you thought the oven saga had come to a happy end on Monday when we found out we were to get a new working oven on Tuesday morning. Really, wasn't that a little optimistic? Situations like this are my excuse in life to be a mocking pessimist.

The delivery guys did show up first thing Tuesday morning. They were joking with me as soon as they walked through the door. I was so giddy that it was easy to joke back with them. We joked all the way into the kitchen. I thought they were still joking when they looked at the old stove and asked why it hadn't been taken it out and where was the tech to install the new one. Surely you jest. I even laughed a little because in my mind I thought wouldn't it just be a perfect new chapter to the stove saga to have the delivery all botched up. No, he was serious. The delivery guys DO NOT take out the old stove and they do not install the new one. If we needed a tech to take out the old and install the new we were supposed to request on from them or get our own. This is where I smiled, took a really deep breath (yoga breathing) and with my mouth said, "Let me call our leasing agent and see what he has arranged." I am quite the mulit-tasker and while my mouth was saying that my mind was saying, "Are you &*$%!^ kidding me? (Yes, I am a potty mouth in my head.) How hard is to get the delivery right? This is why I don't rent. This is why I own my own house and just fix the stupid things that go wrong and then the only person that I can get mad at is myself. Is this just the people we are lucky enough to deal with or do I now live in a different country otherwise known as Dumb&*%^ ville?" Right now my dad is calling me a hypocrite because I don't like him to swear around my kids. Dad, just remember you can think whatever you want around them just don't say it out loud:)

Our leasing agent, Phil, was not available to talk to me so his lovely assistant Jody got to listen to me gritting my teeth while explaining the situation. The delivery guys said they would just put the new oven in front of the old oven and take off because they have to stay on schedule. Schedule, right. They probably noticed the knives on the cupboard and fled for their lives. The above picture is of Dane refusing to be photographed on top of our SECOND STUPID STOVE. I kid you not. Not only does the new one block most of the kitchen it blocks the other stupid stove. After the delivery guys left I had to call my buddy the Banjo Queen because she appreciates or at least understands my dark thoughts. It was her idea to take a picture.

Me trying to let go of the madness got a little harder when I remembered that Kale had a choir performance that night at the school and #1 not only do I have to figure out the dinner situation again, but #2 just the thought of taking Dane to a public event fills me with dread and makes me crave chocolate. If we weren't really trying to give the kids every opportunity to assimilate into their new schools I would have called it quits right then. They could have asked me for anything and I would have given it to them. Ice Cream for dinner? Sure, have two, just let lie in my beautiful bed with the covers over my head. Spend the rest of the day watching TV? Absolutely, just don't come and get me unless there is a fire. Instead, we forged on. The Philster sent some guys over to take care of the stove at about 5pm and they were here until we left for the school at 6:20. We met Erron at Kale's school only to find an empty parking lot and locked doors. Perfect don't you think? We waited a bit and then decided to try Reagan's school. Sure enough, Kale's event was at the middle school next to Reagan's school. Don't ask me how I missed the BOLD ALL CAP sentence on the flyer that said at FARRAGUT MIDDLE SCHOOL. If I were an employee of Sorensen Inc. I would have fired myself at this point.

The performance was really cute and very well done. The kids sang and danced a little, did a little jazz hands and even played the kazoo. How can you be sad after that? Erron thought Dane was better behaved than usual but Erron has spent M-F out of town since the third week of January. I won't tell you what my mind was saying because I love my husband and he reads this. Hi sweetie.

Well, now you know.

Heather begged me not to put the asparagus recipe on so instead I will leave you with something I remembered in the shower yesterday. As thought processes go you don't want to know how I go to the part of my head that had me thinking about the time I was 18 and a nanny in NY. I took the three kids 12, 10 and 5 to Florida for a week by myself because the mom got in a fight with the grandma that lived in Boca Raton. We stayed with the grandparents for a couple of days and the grandma introduced me to a yummy snack I had never heard of. On plain white Wonder Bread spread some strawberry freezer jam and then sprinkle on some pine nuts. Fold it in half and eat it. It sounds ridiculous but I swear there is something about that white mooshy bread.