Yesterday, we took the kids to see the Winchester Mystery House. It was built by the wife of one of the owners of Winchester Rifles. She built it as a way to keep away the spirits of the people killed by the guns. She just kept building. Staircases that lead nowhere, doors that open to walls, six kitchens, 160 rooms in all. It is interesting and even really cool looking on the outside but the Biltmore makes these people look poverty stricken!
Dane hated this place. By the end of the tour I was in tears and if it hadn't been for Michelle I might have just started driving back to TN. I just felt broken and like I was being punished by God for being so selfish. I have so many things that I want to do in this life and I truly thought that it would be okay as long as I took the kids along. That we could experience this together. That I didn't have to miss out or wait until I was 60 to go anywhere. After this, I realized I was just plain wrong. It's too much. From now on I will eek out what I can on my own somehow but adventures with kids are a thing of the past.
I didn't want to push it with Dane today. We were going to go to the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz but after yesterday I realized that it would be me entertaining Dane in the little kids stuff while Michelle took the rest of the kids to do things. I made a mommy executive decision and decided I wanted to spend time with my friend. So we took the kids to see Wall-E and then swimming. Tomorrow, our goal is to go to the Aquarium and Michelle knows some great tide pools. We even found cheap water shoes at Target.
Michelle really knows me too well. Tonight, she sent me to the grocery store while she watched the kids swimming. She knew that I was at the end of my rope so she gave me alone time to get food and cook it in our hotel room. What would I do without my good friends? I am sending a hug to each of you.
Sending you perfect weather from here. Mid 70's and sunny after the clouds roll out. It could work if we could afford to live here:)
